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  • Writer's picturephilomenabonaventure

Movie culture starts young.


It goes haywire-intense in teen years.


And by the time an American is an adult, he's seen hundreds of movies, probably.


Movies are trash. Even the wholesome ones.


The whole experience of movie watching is extremely lazy. Ya sit there for 2-3 hours...idle...being a mental, emotional, an sometimes physical (depending on the level of impurity) receptacle.


They are hyper emotionally charged and visually over-stimulating.


Most movies have story lines and messages promoting free mason ideas.


Yet merely because it's a cultural phenomenon, we regularly keep up with most movies that come out over the decades.


The story lines of our lives could be so much more interesting and fulfilling and dramatic if we spent more time on them instead of simping over stupid, weak, stories.


-FIN

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  • Writer's picturephilomenabonaventure

Updated: Sep 20, 2020

my lips are dry and shriveled from giving no kisses

my arms are long awkward from giving no hugs


i'm a 21st century travesty of a person

a woman who is barren


Clueless, addicted to emotion

attached to pride ... attached to feeling the need to be tough


she doesn't remember what being feminine is like


feeling too insecure to be happy

addicted to social media, to hundreds of images a day

addicted to trying to appear smart

addicted to validation from the likes and comments and "love"


In a way ... addicted to emptiness


A narcissist who thinks her whole world will crumble down

with one wrong move


Lol

It's funny


But tragic.


Wishing someone would swoop into the role of mom and dad

and make her a woman


when biologically she is a woman now

numbed without the desire to really become one


Looking for answers


What is she? A feminist?

A psycho? A child? A mortal sinner? Sociopath?


Over-dramatic? Proud?


Second guessing everything...that nothing goes deep.


Being smart isn't an asset. Right now she needs freedom and truth

Simplicity and grace

Love and acceptance of imperfection

While she seeks perfection


Needing community

Brother, Sister, where art thou?

And where am I?


Tainting the name of Christ

To be a feminist intellectual giant

So empty

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  • Writer's picturephilomenabonaventure

I regret my life more than anything, and I desperately wish I could have never existed.

I believe what my fate will be.

And it is not worth living and making worse.

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